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The virgin:

by Siomara Germain - Copy Editor/Jaymi Gooden - Campus Talk Editor

Not everyone wants to leave college with a bang

Wed, May 3rd 2017 02:10 pm
Photo taken from Wikimedia Commons

Despite prevelant ideas and stereotypes about virgintiy, it's not as simple as it may seem.
Photo taken from Wikimedia Commons Despite prevelant ideas and stereotypes about virgintiy, it's not as simple as it may seem.

There are a few things that are quintessential to the so-called college experience: classes, parties and hook-ups. If you're anything like The Stylus' copy editor Siomara Germain and me, campus talk editor Jaymi Gooden then you may be lacking in the hook-up department. Okay, you're more than lacking. Unlike many college seniors, and like Germain and I, you've yet to punch that v-card that grants you access to the true proverbial college experience. But never fear, you're not as alone in the I'm-gonna-die-a-virgin club as you may think. Listen up! Here's what to make of being a virgin in college and how to survive it for beginners.

First things first. None of that "Woo is me!" crap. At least learn the facts first then you can throw your pity party about dying alone, but Germain and I won't be there because we see nothing wrong with being a virgin in college and here's why. Break it down, Germain.

The Germain Perspective

According to the campusexplorer.com article, "7 Surprising College Dating Statistics" by Heather Fishel, "25 percent of college seniors are virgins . . . 12 percent of females and 13 percent of males over the age of 21 are virgins."

For some this might be a low number but for others this number is completely understandable. This is the 21st century, people are having sex. 

Some may say that being a virgin in college is tough. There are so many temptations but sex just wasn't for me. I'm about to graduate college as a virgin but I'm not ashamed of it. 

People often say that college is the place where you find yourself and experiment with a lot of things. That tends to be true with most people. While I did get a lot of the college experience, there are some things that I didn't do. I've never been to a bar for example. 

Despite the mentality that society tries to enslave me with, I know that it's okay not to experience what everyone else has, and is, experiencing with their significant other or some random guy or girl at a house party. Talking to guys can be tricky. Once they find out you are a virgin, it can only go one of two ways. 

One: guys think they won the jackpot and all you're thinking is, "Like no, your sausage ain't touching my buns." Unlike the characters from the movie "Sausage Party", we won't be touching tips. Also, just because I told you I'm a  virgin doesn't mean I want you to be my first experience and it doesn't mean I'm exactly innocent. I'm not saying I'm innocent, but I'm not saying I'm not either 

Two: once guys find out you're a virgin they want nothing to do with you. They think it's a big turnoff. When people find out that I'm a virgin they instantly think that I am inexperienced or naive but they couldn't be any more wrong. So what if I'm picky? Sue me. This isn't something to "just get it over with". This is my virtue we're talking about. Just because I'm a virgin, doesn't mean I'm cursed and my virginity is just a disease to get rid of. It's a win or lose situation. Some virgins are very informed about sex. Gooden, for example, knows way more than any virgin should about sex. I think it's safe to say we're two very different kinds of virgins.

The Gooden Perspective

So let's get right to it. I won't spell it out for you but I know my body very well ... extremely well. I think every girl should, virgin or not, and there's absolutely no shame and giving yourself what I like to call a high-five down there every once in awhile. Sex is natural but contrary to popular belief, so is not having sex. There's no shame in waiting until you're ready or jumping right into the fray when you arrive on a college campus. Believe me, there are plenty of people to choose from and just between you and me, no one cares who you screw, or in our cases, don't screw in college. 

My virgin story was about eradicating that shame associated with sex and debunking the belief of what Germain mentioned earlier: virgins don't know squat about sex or love or relationships.

Wrong. If I may be so bold, I know plenty and I learned it all by myself. Okay, that's a lie. I watch a lot of porn. On top of that, my mother never shut up about sex and love and passed a lot of her wisdom down to me. Plus, watching my friends monkey swing from one relationship to another — failing miserably — showed me exactly what not to do. So, believe me when I say there are plenty of ways to become experienced while still keeping your angelic virgin glow about you.

I've still got my halo four years after stepping foot on campus. Why? I have no idea. I'm not holding out for marriage or even love. Sex is just something that hasn't happened to me yet but that doesn't mean that there weren't opportunities. There will always be opportunities for both boys and girls which is why everyone should march to the beat of their own drum. However, be prepared to be pegged as a Jesus freak or a prude or a symbol of all the good things left in the world when others find out about your status.

Ready yourself for the "OMG! They still make girls like you," and the "Really? Wow that's impressive," when others find out. What's so impressive? What is so "OMG" worthy? And what is so 'wow'? Is it the freedom of choosing when I want to have sex that everyone is so enthralled with? News flash: outside of nonconsensual intercourse, everybody has that freedom and just so we're all clear, no one choice is right or wrong. So if you're in college and you're still a virgin just keep chugging along like the little engine that could. No one's judging and even if they are, it's only about the halo that makes you as unique as a dirty freak can be on a college campus.

sgerm2@brockport.edu/campustalk.editor@gmail.com

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