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Heelys to solve campus parking problem

by Margaret Stewart
Tue, May 7th 2019 10:20 pm

It is no secret The College at Brockport has struggled to find adequate parking for its students and faculty members for a number of years. Rumors have been whispered throughout campus about the parking peredicament, with ideas spreading on how to fix it. This time, a radically new proposal has reached the board: replace students’ cars with Heelys. 

Since their inception in 2003, Heelys became incredibly popular and, when compared to the price of a used car, affordable. 

College senior TJ Tobbertson recalls his first experience with the footwear fad.

“Yo, bro my Heelys were like mad sick back in the day I had them with this rad a** red stripes,” Tobbertson said. “Yo I would like skeert my grandparents’ hallway like ‘eeerrrrrt’ just whippin’ around yo I tell you, it was tight.”

The issue is that the radical shoes have been banned across college campuses nationwide. As a shoe that doubles as a modern roller skate, colleges and universities view the rolling footwear as a liability. Students who buy Heelys for the first time are more susceptible to injury as they don’t know how to properly use them.

Freshman Mai Tripp explained that she has had issues keeping her balance travelling from class to class while wearing the shoes. 

“I can’t seem to stay upright,” Tripp said. “My balance sucks but when I do manage to stay vertical, I run into everyone else. My hands are all cut up and it takes 10 times longer to get to classes.”

Tripp isn’t the only one to feel this way. Though some students look forward to the daily nostalgic nodd, many are unhappy. 

Ianna Rush, a daily commuter student, is already frustrated with the lack of available parking and this change has only increased that frustration.

“Are you kidding me,” Rush said. “It is ridiculous. What are we supposed to do in the winter? Heely over the ice? Then I fall, break a bone and get docked for [class] attendance because I literally can’t get there.”

The distribution of Heelys is the school’s solution to it’s parking predicament as the shoes are to replace cars on campus with tentative plans in place to create new features that will replace the parking lots.

“Recently there has been a lot of construction on campus and parking has always been a problem,” Director of Campus Construction and Transportation Parker Carr said. “I figured, why not use one to fix the other. Parking won’t be a problem and cars won’t be in the way of construction. It’ll be an adjustment but the kids who attend this college are smart, they’ll understand and make it work.”

While it’s expected that students will skate their way around campus, faculty will be allowed one car each that also must meet new criteria. The car must be “green” both in its energy efficiency as well as color.

“Obviously, we care about the environment,” Carr said. “We also want to encourage more school spirit and what better way to show off Brockport pride than through driving in our school’s colors?”

Tobbertson wholeheartedly agrees and says he is ready to trade in his car for a new set of wheels. 

“I have no problems with it,” Tobbertson said. “You don’t gotta worry about parking, you don’t gotta worry about parking passes with everyone just whippin’ around on some Heelys though. Yo, I’ll tell you it’ll be lit.”

The school is currently planning on sending out a survey after graduation. Due in July, the survey will collect individual shoe sizes in addition to providing one of two styles. Whichever shoe is chosen will come in none other than Golden Eagle Green.

Students planning to live on campus for the 2019-2020 academic year can expect to pick up their shoes when they pick up their dorm keys in August. Students who are enrolled at the college but plan to live off campus will be able to pick up their shoes in the Union Lounge during Welcome Weekend.

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Taken by Vincent Croce:
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